Read what you like.

Potentially dire consequences await those who ‘like’ social media posts before or without reading the text. The true message of the post is often not evident in the headline and can be contradictory to the reader’s world view or online image. Liking a post without reviewing its contents could even damage someone’s online reputation.

Be particularly wary of satire. This very website contains an entire category full of satirical articles. Satire uses humour to criticise or ridicule particular situations, organisations or people, and the meaning of the text is very rarely evident in the headline.

Beware of hashtags.

Just because a post is accompanied with hashtags such as pets, dogs, dogowners, furryfriends or fourleggedfriends doesn’t mean that the article is supportive of dog owners or pet ownership. In fact, numerous articles on this website, especially in the Satire category, are highly critical of dog owners and their flagrant disregard for dog walking laws. The articles portray the dog owners as selfish, disobedient, arrogant, disrespectful, inconsiderate and in some cases illiterate. Hardly complimentary. Despite this fact, many pet supply companies ‘liked’ the posts.

The pet companies were responding to the hashtags. They have most likely established their social media marketing strategy to identify and respond to any hashtag relating to dogs, pets and dog owners. The companies believe this increases exposure for their brand.

…but what kind of exposure?

If a pet supply company is seen to be endorsing a text which implies that dog owners are selfish, disobedient, arrogant, disrespectful, inconsiderate and in some cases illiterate, this could backfire severely on the company. The company is essentially insulting its customers and insulting the very people which sustain the business and all of its employees.

Has a business ever prospered by insulting its customers?

Think about what you ‘like’.

Liking an image of a person you admire can also lead to misinterpretation or support of an opinion contradictory to your own.

The Frownlow Medal is a satirical award given to the Australia-based professional footballer who commits the worst off-field scandal in any given year. The award exists to criticise the footballers and society’s adoration of them, and uses irony to do so.

An Instagram account holds images of all of the footballers who have so far been nominated for The Frownlow Medal and The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame. Many people ‘like’ the posts containing images of their sporting heroes, without knowing that the player is being criticised for their off-field behaviour. The fans are thus supporting or endorsing a satirical award which is heavily criticising their heroes.

Of course, some fans agree with the award’s premise, and can separate the player’s sporting brilliance from their off-field flaws, but many fans ‘like’ unknowingly.

Another article related to football demonstrates this point. The article relates to the Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison, and attacks his support for the Cronulla Rugby League club and exposes it as a shallow publicity stunt. The article is heavily critical of Morrison, and implies that supporters of the prime minister, and the Cronulla team, have been fooled into supporting and voting for their local representative. Nevertheless, fans of the club ‘liked’ the article when it was posted on this website.

They are essentially liking a post which calls them gullible, uneducated, easily fooled and impressionable.

A food catering service also fell victim to their automated hashtag marketing system. I wrote a travel article about a particularly unsavoury pizza I ate at a local restaurant in China, where I saw customers being given blood pressure checks – after they had eaten. The food catering company had inadvertently associated themselves with poor quality and horrible tasting food – food so bad it could give someone a heart attack.

Be sure to read what you like.

Image: 2PhotoPots

“Fuck you and your shit article”

Someone thoroughly enjoyed an article I wrote recently. So much so that my adoring fan took the time to write a grammatically flawed comment extolling the virtues of the article.

A man called Adam Smith was kind enough to provide some highly constructive analysis and feedback to an article I wrote for a monthly magazine in Sydney, Australia, called The Beast.

The article was a satirical piece about a proposal to let local dog owners take their pets to a beach near Bondi called Mackenzies Bay. Dogs are currently prohibited from the beach according to the laws of Waverley Council, but dogs can be seen on the small beach every day of the year.

Adam’s comment is as follows:

“Hi Kieran. Fuck you, and your shit article in the beast. I will make sure and take my Dog to Mackenzies Bay more frequently from now on”

Before we go any further, let’s just fix up the grammar in this response. It should read:

Hi Kieran. Fuck you and your shit article in The Beast. I will make sure to take my dog to Mackenzies Bay more frequently from now on.

By the way Adam, you should be grateful. As a professional proofreader and editor, I normally charge people to fix their linguistic shortcomings. You get this one for free.

Who is Adam Smith?

This Adam Smith is certainly not The Father of Economics or The Father of Capitalism.

He has however publicly admitted to breaking the rues, for which there is theoretically a fine issued by Waverley Council. He also says he is going to break the rules more often by taking his dog to a prohibited area.

Should I inform Waverley Council?

Would he be fined?

Surely the Council could search through their database for Adam Smith and track down the impassioned letter writer. More than one Adam Smith is likely to reside in the region, but we know this one owns a dog, and lives near the beach in question. His pet dog should also be registered, as per the law in Australia. He shouldn’t be too hard to find.

Maybe Adam didn’t think of this when he pressed send on his fan mail.

If you’d like to read the source of this commotion, go to http://www.thebeast.com.au and search for “Safe Injecting Space Planned for Mackenzies Bay” Enjoy the rest of the mag while you’re there.

Thanks for the feedback Adam.

Image: Christian Buehner

Nick Stevens, His Girlfriend and Another Man’s Wife Nominated for the Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

stevensmiller

Former Carlton AFL player Nick Stevens and his girlfriend lead the band of public urinators, drug dealers, prisoners and a coach’s wife to be nominated for induction into the prestigious Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame.

The Frownlow Medal is awarded to the player whose off-field demeanour epitomises the values of the modern day footballer and draws attention to the status of footballers as role models to young Australians. It covers Australia’s four major football codes; the National Rugby League (NRL), Australian Football League (AFL), the A-League (Football) and Rugby Union’s Super Rugby competition. The first medal was awarded to Sydney Roosters and New Zealand representative Shaun Kenny-Dowall in 2015.

The Frownlow Medal Hall of Fame honours former players and players who received media attention in previous seasons, for similarly scandalous behaviour, and its inductees include Ben Cousins and Todd Carney.

NRL and AFL wife beaters head the list for 2016.

Stevens captains the team which includes NRL players Robert Lui, Anthony Watts and Isaac Gordon. Stevens’ odds shortened when his current girlfriend, Amelia Miller, attacked the victim of his abuse via social media.

Sydney Roosters winger Blake Ferguson also assaulted a woman on his way to a nomination, but damaged his chances of induction by stating that he restricts himself to blondes.

Ferguson joins a group of 2016 State of Origin players, including his NSW captain Paul Gallen and team mates Josh Dugan, Greg Romance Bird, Dylan Walker, Jack Bird and  Queenslanders Sam Virgin Thaiday and Nate Squatter Myles.

Greg Romance Bird urinated on a police car the day after his wedding, to add his name to a list of public urinators which includes Anthony Tupou, Anthony Watmough, Terence Seu Seu, Gallen, Willie Mason, Sonny Bill Williams and the Master Urinator, 2015 Hall of Fame inductee, Todd Carney.

Romance did not, however, damage a taxi or its driver, and this could be his downfall. Taxi abuse earned nominations for Mason, Reni Maitua and Jake Friend plus AFL players Micheal Hurely, Jarrad Grant, Daniel Kerr and Trent Dumont.

The battle for the Frownlow’s foremost family rages between the father and son combinations of AFL stars Daniel and Roger Kerr and  Jim and Andrew Krakouer, whose fame stems from incidents such as drug dealing, assault and imprisonment. Jail time also earned NRL player Russell Packer his nomination.

Beau Ryan is on the list for a racist attempt at comedy on the Rugby League Footy Show, but just like in his playing career – he is simply there.

The other man’s wife is Nicole McGregor, the better half of drink driving St George Illawarra coach Paul. Nicole strengthened her husband’s nomination when she publicly criticised Dragons players at a post match function.

The one common denominator of almost every nomination?

Alcohol.

The full list of nominees, valid at date of publication, is included below.

Name Code Club Action
John Hopoate NRL Manly, Inserting his fingers into players’ private areas, banned from coaching Manly junior teams, charged with assaulting someone in a supermarket, played low grade Rugby Union under a false name, verbally abused a touch judge, verbally abused a ball boy, sacked by Manly, charged with assault at King’s Cross while working as an RSA marshall, guilty of intimidating a parking officer. 1
Billy Brownless AFL Geelong Cats Wife slept with Lyon 2
Garry Lyon AFL Melbourne Demons Slept with Brownless’ wife 3
Paul McGregor NRL St George Illawarra Coach/ Illawarra Steelers player Drink Driving 4
Grant Hackett AFL Collingwood Drunk and disorderly on a plane, helped off the plane by Collingwood ///, accused of domestic violence, history of alcohol abuse.. 5
Paul Gallen NRL Cronulla Sharks, NSW, AUS Urinating in Public, racism, misuse of twitter 6
Josh Dugan NRL Canberra Raiders, St George Illawarra Dragons, NSW, AUS Misuse of social media, intoxication, 7
Blake Ferguson NRL Canberra Raiders, Sydney Roosters, NSW Charged with assault, intoxication, misuse of social media. 8
Greg Bird NRL Cronulla Sharks, Gold Coast Titans Urinating on a police car the day after his wedding. 9
Nate Myles NRL Sydney Roosters, Gold Coast Titans, Manly Sea Eagles. Intoxication, public nakedness and defecation in the corridor of a hotel. 10
Beau Ryan NRL Wests Tigers, Cronulla Sharks Racist joke on Channel Nine Footy Show. 11
Stephen Hoiles Rugby Union NSW Waratahs, Wallabies Sexually suggestive question to Eddie Jones at press conference after Wallabies v. England. 12
Willie Mason NRL Canterbury Bulldogs, North Queensland Cowboys, Newcastle Knights, Sydney Roosters, Manly Sea Eagles Ran from a taxi to avoid paying fare, tested positive to illicit drugs, forged another player’s signature at an autograph event, broke curfew, televised swearing during the Haka, voted most hated NRL player by fans in 2007, verbally challenged a female reporter, charged with public urination 2008 and 2009 13
Reni Maitua NRL Canterbury Bulldogs, ….. Arrested for drink driving while on P Plates, sacked by Bulldogs for failing to attend training, tested positive to a banned substance, assaulted taxi driver, involved in a nightclub brawl in Brisbane. Attempted to commit suicide. 14
Jake Friend NRL Sydney Roosters Being drunk and falling asleep in a taxi, assaulting taxi driver, refusing to pay fare. 15
Michael Hurley AFL Essendon Bombers Arrested for drunken assault of a taxi driver after refusing to pay fare while on his way to Hungry Jacks. 16
Daniel Kerr AFL West Coast Eagles Involved in brawl with Ben Cousins, borke Cousins’ arm, charged with forging a prescription to valium, charged with assault alongside his father, arrested for assaulting taxi driver, accused of drug dealing, assaulted a teenager, arrested for starting a house fire. 17
Anthony Watts NRL Cronulla Sharks, North Queensland Cowboys Assaulting a man at a wedding, assault of his former partner, drug possession, imprisonment, membership of a bikie gang, drunken brawl while on parole, biting the penis of an opposing player. 18
Trent Dumont AFL North Melbourne Charged with aggravated robbery of a taxi driver in Adelaide in 2014 19
Robert Lui NRL Wests Tigers, North Queensland Cowboys Charged with numerous counts of domestic violence 20
Tony Armstrong AFL Adelaide Crows, Sydney Swans, Collingwood Magpies Sent nude photos to a woman via social media. Photos later appeared in Woman’s Day. 21
Anthony Tupou NRL Sydney Roosters, Cronulla Sharks Public urination. 22
Amelia Miller AFL Current girlfriend of Nick Stevens Launched a social media attack of Nick Stevens former partner. 23
Kurtley Beale Rugby Union NSW Waratahs, Melbourne Rebels, Wallabies, Wasps Attended rehabilitation for alcohol related issues in, sent home from South Africa for ill-discipline in 2013, punished for sending offensive texts to team official in 2014. 24
Danny Cipriani Rugby Union Melbourne Rebels, England, Wasps Accused of stealing a bottle of vodka from behind a bar in Melbourne. Regular incidents of off-field ill-discipline while at Rebels. 25
Jim Krakouer AFL North Melbourne Kangaroos, St Kilda Saints Imprisoned for rape, guilty of dangerous driving causing death, imprisoned for drug trafficking 26
Andrew Krakouer AFL Richmond Tigers, Collingwood Magpies Charged with assault causing grievous bodily harm, found guilty of assault and served time in prison. 27
Roger Kerr AFL East Fremantle, Port Adelaide (SANFL) Charged with assault 28
Dave Taylor NRL Brisbane Broncos, Gold Coast Titans, South Sydney Rabbitohs, Queensland, Australia, Catalans Dragons Pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine. 29
Joe Vickery NRL Gold Coast Titans, St George Dragons, Leeds Rhinos Pleaded guilty to supplying cocaine. 30
Jamie Dowling NRL Gold Coast Titans Pleaded guilty to supplying cocaine. 31
Nicole McGregor NRL Wife of Paul McGregor, coach of St George Illawarra Dragons. Verbally criticised St George players about their recent form at a post-match presentation. 32
Lachie Keefe AFL Collingwood Magpies Naked selfies of him were published in Woman’s Day. 33
Nick Stevens AFL Carlton Jailed for repeated abuse of former partner. 34
Julian O’Neill NRL Brisbane Broncos, Western Reds, South Sydney Rabbitohs, North Queensland Cowboys Urinated under a blackjack table, indecent exposure, sacked by Brisbane Broncos for drink-driving, sacked by London Broncos for drink-driving, sacked by Western Reds after being disqualified from driving, defecated in a teammate’s shoe, drunkenly set fire to a 13-year-old bot in a dolphin suit on a river cruise, stripped to his underwear, jumped into the river, swam to shore, hitched a ride to town- to avoid apprehension. 35
Anthony Watmough NRL Manly Sea Egales, Parramatta Eels Public urination, abused a club sponsor’s 21-year-old daughter, punched a club sponsor, trashed a hotel room. AVO taken out against him. 36
Terence Seu Seu NRL Manly Sea Eagles, Newcastle Knights, Cronulla Sharks Public urination 37
Sam Newman AFL Geelong Cats Misogynistic rant against female journalist on the AFL Footy Show. 38
Robert Dipierdomenico AFL Hawthorn Eagles Tweeted his condolences about the death of Ben Cousins. 39
Russel Packer NRL St. George-Illawarra Dragons, Auckland Warriors Assaulted a man in Sydney CBD, served time in prison, fined $15,000 for urinating on the field 40
Isaac Gordon NRL Cronulla Sharks Domestic violence of pregnant partner. 41
Sonny Bill Williams NRL/Rugby Union Who hasn’t he played for? Public urination, filmed in a dalliance with Candice Falzon in a toilet cubicle at The Clovelly Hotel, low range drink driving conviction, walked out of contract with Canterbury Bulldogs, using a Samoan passport to exit Australia. 42
Jarrad Grant AFL Western Bulldogs, Gold Coast Suns Opened the door of a moving taxi late at night in Hong Kong in 2010. 43

 

Image:www.dailymail.co.uk