Australians to be denied lifesaving surgery.

The Australian government has angered the nation after announcing a new policy that will prohibit lifesaving surgery for seriously ill patients.

Australians will be forced to tolerate any illness or disease which threatens their future health or even their lives, and will be prohibited from receiving treatment for illnesses such as cancer.

“There is a prevailing belief that a disease, illness or affliction which harms or kills the host body must be removed or eliminated,” announced federal Minister for Health Greg Hunt.

“This leads to doctors and surgeons removing or eliminating illnesses such as cancer from people’s bodies, so that the patient can survive. It is also the reason for the global effort to develop a vaccine for COVID-19.”

Hunt argued that if this principle was applied to other contexts in day to day life, it would create major implications for the nation. To prove his argument, Hunt cited Rupert Murdoch and NewsCorp which are regarded as a cancer on democracy in The US, The UK and Australia.

“Does that mean we have to remove Rupert and NewsCorp from Australia, before it kills the country?”

“That would require actions such as a royal commission into media ownership or some form of regulation of the content produced by NewsCorp on a daily basis,” Hunt explained.

“Without Rupert’s propaganda, there is no way my party will win the next election.”

Hunt then referred to Brumbies in the Australian bush.

“Feral horses, known affectionately as ‘Brumbies’, destroy the ecology of our wilderness, including in our national parks. Some people seem to think that if something is so obviously destructive, it should be eliminated.”

“But these invasive animals are ‘heritage horses’. Aussies hold them up as symbols of our great nation, and people are forgetting that misguided, inaccurate and outdated notions of Australian identity are a cornerstone of our culture.”

Hunt then explained that the flawed thinking of removing that which threatens its host would necessitate much greater regulations on cats, because they are the single most destructive introduced species in Australia, as well as a rapid transition from fossil fuels to renewable energy.

“Finally, we would also have to remove from Australia elements such as Pauline Hanson and Clive Palmer. They do so much damage to our national institutions, but they proved enormously useful to the Liberal National Coalition in recent years.”

Images: http://www.worldatlas.com, http://www.redlandcitybulletin.com.au

Cat-eating dogs in a forest in the clouds.

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The low growl seeped through the mist. A shriek of terror emanated from a living being somewhere in the vicinity, but also shrouded in mist.

Then a chase.

The growl hastened and sharpened.

A bark.

A violent, frenzied bark and a shriek of pure terror as two sets of paws splashed through the mud and the undergrowth.

Then they emerged.

Two forms, surging with adrenaline; one in pursuit, one in danger.

A terrified cat broke through the mist of the cloud forest at Monteverde and continued its shrill cry as a feral dog came bounding through the clouds, eyes set on its target and its salivating mouth agape.

The animals ran and swerved and barked and shrieked through the forest, bounding over logs and slipping through fences, disappearing into the mist and emerging seconds later in this chase to the death.

Yes, to the death.

The dog won.

The prey succumbed to the predator. The dog pounced on the cat and proceeded to tear it apart.

All of this happened in close proximity to the cafe where we were enjoying lunch, where we were tearing into our own sustenance.

It was a horrifying sight. It certainly put us off our food.

It was also the only exciting moment of our visit to Monteverde Cloud Forest in Costa Rica. We saw virtually nothing for the remainder of the morning. Everything was shrouded in mist.

Who’d have thought a cloud forest would be blanketed in a thick layer of…clouds.

Perhaps we should have set the alarm clocks earlier. After all, the early bird catches the worm, just as the angry dog catches the cat.

Image: Rachelle Blake