The Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison, took an unannounced trip to Greece recently in order to return democracy to its birthplace.
Australians had accused Mr. Morrison of going ‘missing’ while the country is battling savage bushfires. It has finally been revealed that he had secretly travelled to Athens to hand back Australian democracy.
“Democracy didn’t work in Australia,” Mr Morrison’s office announced in a press statement.
“We tried it for more than 100 years, and despite proving largely successful for many of those years, we recently decided that it is not the right fit for Australia. We don’t need democracy any more.”
Mr. Morrison undertook the secretive trip with only a skeleton staff, and is said to have laid the shattered remains of Australian democracy to rest at various landmarks in Athens. The prime minster was able to roam freely through the ancient city as he was disguised as a tourist wearing an Australia baseball cap and a T-shirt emblazoned with ‘Papa Smirk’.
The statement from the prime minister’s office then elaborated on the motives for the hand back.
“Democracy was becoming an impediment to the goals of the current government, which I am proud to lead. Democracy demands a free press, but this would prevent us from raiding journalists and media outlets. It would also upset one of our most ardent supporters, who owns most of the media in this country.”
“Furthermore, democracy demands the right for citizens to protest, and protests threaten the very survival of our overlords from the minerals and resource sector.”
The press release then thanked Greece and it’s philosophers for creating and disseminating modern democracy.
Many citizens and members of the media were confused that the prime minister would ‘go missing’ while unprecedented and catastrophic bushfires continue to devastate the eastern coast of the country.
The press release answered some of their questions. One question which remains, however, is whether or not democracy can ever be brought back to Australia.