Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced plans to apply a means test to the allocation of his inheritance to his children.
The means test will determine how much money is allocated to each child upon his passing and will include criteria such as marital status, career status, property ownership, number of children and frequency of contact.
“My children have received the statement informing them that their inheritance will be allocated according to merit and need. This is in line with the philosophy of myself, Lucy and the Liberal Party, that young people should never expect hand-outs in life”, stated Mr. Turnbull, before outlining the details of the plan.
“We believe in the sanctity of the family unit, so my children will receive a greater share of the inheritance if they are in a legally binding marriage and if they provide us with grandchildren. This condition, if applied by other families across Australia, may serve to offset the modern trend of delaying or even neglecting marriage.
It has also been made known to my children that grandchildren should be presented, in a proper state, to us, their grandparents, on a voluntary and regular basis, in line with the conditions of this legally binding contract.”
The Prime Minister also explained that he and his wife would look favourably upon gainful employment within prestigious and respectable organisations, but less favourably upon involvement with other organisations such as the ABC or the Australian Monarchist League.
When pressed to comment on the reaction of his children to the plan, Mr. Turnbull said that his children shared his view that everything in life must be earned and that the conditions would inspire them to live a full and meaningful life as constructive members of Australian society.
Mr. Turnbull has accumulated considerable wealth and is one of the country’s richest ever politicians. His son Alex and daughter Daisy, both of whom are married, can increase the likelihood of obtaining some of this wealth should they demonstrate a willingness to enter the property market and if they spend more time in the presence of their parents “… rather than skyping from some far flung and exotic destination, as young people these days are wont to do.”
The plan was announced amid criticism that the Prime Minister and his party are out of touch with average Australians.
“This plan proves that I, as leader of a party at the forefront of social policy, am willing to apply the same strict criteria to my own family that I apply to the people of Australia.”